Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I just don't get it....

I know this post will probably get me in trouble with many....and might even lead to a confession to my priest....but have you ever gotten mad at God?.....or angry?...or just perplexed?

Now, I am not a philistine...but I also am not the most pious person around....just ask ANY member of my family....but when I see a situation that seems so UNJUST then I begin to get those feelings.....

I am not talking about things that befall me....I probably deserve those....OK...OK...I most definitely deserve those....I am a pretty strong person with a pretty strong personality...and for some reason God provides me with many opportunities to get myself out of messes...but I am talking about those who are not strong...those who do not have strong personalities.....and how I am moved to tears (yes, tears) by their sufferings....

Why does life seem to steamroll over them? Why are these HUGE burdens put on them? Why? They just seem to buckle under because of giant, painful burdens. I am talking about those who suffer as victims in war and in peace...why?

I remember asking my mother one time why God put poor people on the earth....and she told me it was to test the rich..... that answer did not make me happy then, and it does not make me happy now.

Where I work I see many, many abuses of the "system"...and I see many who try their best and who just put up with crappola and continue to slog along....

My family try as best we can to help those who need it...and have often been ridiculed for it....like that is going to stop me....oh, how they don't know of my stubborn streak....but what we are doing is just not enough...not for those who really need it...

So I ask God...."Why?"...and I hate to tell ya...I get angry.....

Thanks for letting me vent...and Fr. Seraphim, if you are reading this.....pack a lunch and set aside some time....a confession is in order I believe!

1 comment:

Christina said...

I feel the same way. I don't understand it.